Monday, May 17, 2010

change

If I've ever been on the "cusp" of something... it's right now. I feel like I'm moments/centimeters/whispers away from every major change that will ever take place in my life. Today is my holy triumvirate of change. However, I'm frighteningly undisturbed. I may/may not have a job. May/may not have a place to rest my head. May/may not be able to attend school this summer. Hm. Triumvirate, I told you.

I've been praying for change recently, wishing for change for as long as I can remember. Ask and you shall receive. Knock and the door will be opened unto you. I guess I asked. I guess I knocked. And here I am. Standing at this precipice not quite sure how far the fall will be. But I'm ready to jump.

And just as quickly and confidently as I said I was undisturbed, my heart began to race. It's a funny thing - not knowing what will happen. But what's new? At what point in my life was I certain of what was coming next (unless we're discussing my mother who is CERTAIN to instantly combust upon arriving to a home containing more than two specks of dust... that and that alone can I count on.)

But this was unexpected. Actually receiving what I requested? That's preposterous. And yet - here I am.

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